Kids Should Be Banned From Restaurants

When I was a kid I thought fine dining was hearing a nasal voice over a loudspeaker announce that order number 14’s seafood mornay was getting cold at the local RSL club. It was cheap and noisy – though always cheerful – and anyway, wasn’t it just a treat to go somewhere where someone else had to do the dishes? We didn’t annoy other diners; they were probably louder than us, and besides, with those pokie machines jackpotting away we could’ve screamed all the way through dessert and no-one would’ve noticed.

But that’s not good enough for today’s generation of kids. Or should I say, that’s not good enough for today’s generation of selfish parents. Now my mate’s five-year-old scoffs down more smoked salmon in one sitting than I can handle in a year and any self-respecting eight-year-old knows the difference between a rib eye and a New York fillet.

Parents are shunning restaurants designed for families – it’s so beneath them – and demand to dine in restaurants they simply don’t belong in. It’s not fair and as the Sunday Telegraph Kids and Restaurant Survey reveals, diners have had enough. Almost half of all childless adults would like children banned from restaurants.

Haven’t parents heard of baby-sitters? They might be expensive but the couple death-staring you over there didn’t force you to have sex and produce children, did they? And why should the sweet couple in the corner who left Junior at home with their parents have to put up with your children ruining their one romantic night in a year?

Experts say it’s important kids be introduced to situations outside the home, like restaurant dining. That’s fine with all of us, but choose a restaurant that suits. Kids don’t need mood lighting and soft music. They’re not comfortable there, they’re only screaming because they’re bored, they’d much prefer to be around their own kind.

Passive smoking has been banned from all restaurants in Australia. If parents don’t use more common sense, passive parenting will be next on the hit list.

Leave a comment